Paul McCartney's "Let 'Em In"

Great balls of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, what a horrid fucking song. Anyone who knows me is privy to the fact that I'm a huge, huge Beatles fan. And Paul McCartney had some good songs after they broke up. This, my friends, is NOT one of them.

How can I explain this the clearest? This song makes me want to commit suicide. If this song were something I could hold onto I would throw it into a barn fire. This song is like Satan got drunk and ate a shit ton of Taco Bell at 2 in the morning, woke up at 4:30, shit continuously for 45 minutes, flushed it down the toilet where it was carried down Hell's sewers and into a sewage-choked pond somewhere around the dead-heroin-using-punk-rocker section where it was picked up by some dead asshole A&R guy who put it into a record sleeve. Yes. This song is a massive satanic Taco Bell dump.

Jesus. The utter balls McCartney has to pull this crap on us. For a while I thought David Bowie's "China Girl" was possibly the most painfully boring song on Earth but, ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner.

How do people like this shit? "Let 'Em In" reminds me of being stuck behind some ancient fuck going 20km below the speed limit on a narrow two-lane road at noon on a hot, sticky, summer's day. You've been stuck behind him for 10 minutes and finally you get an opportunity to pass. So you shoot ahead and look over to get a glimpse of this moron and he's driving with two hands on the wheel and a big smile on his face and he's wearing a beige fedora with a small galloping horse logo stitched into the side. AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHH!

I used to hear this song on a regular basis when I worked at a grocery store several years ago. The music there was always crap. It was always this lame soft-rock that was certain not to offend anyone, even the most Christian grandmothers. I had to put up with Hall and Oates, Celine Dion, and Five for Fighting. It was excruciating. The fact that this song was even on our dreadful playlist is proof already that zombies listen to it. And I don't want to have anything to do with zombies. They frighten me.

Mr. McCartney.....sir? You know I have the utmost respect for you.....but I'm a little bit concerned. Paul....? Are you high on drugs? You know I love you, I just don't want you to hurt yourself. I want to talk to you and help you help yourself.

With all due respect, the world is not ready for Luciferian diarrhea.