I present you with a double shot today because even though today's people are dumb as a box of hammers, I just don't feel like going into elaborate rants on them.
First we have some people who have been in the news in the past couple of days: the Money-Grabbers!
Look, I understand that people like money and a lot need it especially in these challenging economic times*. But this is the behaviour of a person with sub-par intelligence and shouldn't be tolerated.
What kind of a moron pulls over on the highway and darts out into the road to collect money like they're on a crappy game show? Better yet, what kind of a moron doesn't even pull over to the side of the road before getting out to astound others with her intellect?
These fat dumbasses skip and frolic all over the road smiling from ear to ear and meanwhile the people who actually have a little bit of common sense launch obscenities at them for holding up the flow of traffic. I tell you, if I was being slowed down like that and then got to the front only to see that it was because of people like this, there would be tires squealing and an engine revving and at least two or three screaming people flying 15 feet into the air. God damn idiots.
This next one is three years old, but I only just saw it yesterday. Which surprises me because I'm usually pretty up to date on most viral videos. But bear with me because hot shit! We've got ourselves a fucking leprechaun living in Alabama!
Don't these people just want to make you puke? Granted, I'm sure some are just playing along and having fun, but clearly there are people taking this seriously. Yes, I'm sure there are several hundred retarded looking leprechauns with no mouths living all over Alabama. This is just the first of many. Keep trying to spot him, I assure you he's there!
Let's think about this. The leprechaun only comes out at night and you can't see it if you shine light on it. Is it any surprise that one of these crackheads thought they saw a leprechaun in a tree?
This isn't even news. It's a bunch of idiots chasing after fairies. While we're at it, why don't we just launch a full blown search for giants and trolls and dragons and motherfucking Thumbelina. I know the asshole in the bullet-proof vest is up for it. Seriously, buddy, camouflage and a bullet-proof vest? It's a friggin' elf, not a 300-pound crazed terrorist. Nice dwarf flute though. You are truly an asset to this investigation.
And the leprechaun does not have any gold under the tree for fuck's sake. He took it all to San Diego, got some money for it, and then threw it all over the road when the cops gave chase. Those assholes in Mobile totally narced on him.
*There is a possibility that I'll write about this stupid, over-used and worn out expression in the future.
No comments:
Post a Comment