Let me explain this. Every time a holiday comes around where people tend to drink more than usual the big internet guys have to bust out a bunch of hangover information. It's now 2 days away from St. Patty's Day and sure enough Yahoo! has put the usual up on their homepage (see above).
St. Patty's and New Years Eve. Those are the big ones. Without fail, two days before you will see a bunch of hangover crap all over the internet. What causes them and how to get rid of them. And hangover cure myths. All your favourite cures exposed!
Now, it's not that I have a problem with people drinking. I don't have a problem with hangovers (well, I do, but not in this context). I don't have a problem with people going a little overboard at a party. It's the repetitive information in these little "hangover guides" that everyone who's anyone should know.
Is anyone reading these hangover tips and learning something new? First of all, Yahoo! lists the symptoms of a hangover. Are there people out there who are drinking a pint of whiskey, going to bed, and then waking up shaking their heads saying, "The fuck is this shit, man?" If you don't know what a hangover is or what the symptoms are, perhaps you're not ready to be drinking in the first place.
After that it's the same old shit. Cold shower, aspirin, coffee, hair of the dog. Seriously, who hasn't heard of all of these hundreds of times? Tell me there aren't people out there who have been doing hair of the dog for 20 years. Tell me they aren't coming to Yahoo! and reading their little guide and saying "Well, I'll be damned. Hey, Darelene! Guess what. Yeah, turns out we've been doin' it wrong all these years! Hoo-hoooo!"
Take a fucking painkiller, go back to bed, sleep it off and be done with it. There are no secret voodoo remedies for you to indulge in. And to the big internet guys, stop reminding me of peoples' stupidity every single drink-iday (holidays meant for drinking). If folks need to reference your guides, they probably don't know enough about how drinking works and therefore should be left to pay the price and maybe learn a thing or two first-hand.
Smart drinkers don't need these guides. Please stop wasting space on the internet.
Stay tuned. There's a good chance of yelling at children tomorrow. Fuck yeah!
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