Pussy Flaps

Sorry if you thought this entry was going to be juicy, but that's just my own little term for the sun visors in the car. Because it's a flap and only pussies use them.

I was inspired to write this as I drove down the highway yesterday with the sun in the west shining through my driver's side window. I swung the flap around to block it and then quickly became aware of my status as a complete pansy and swung it right back up. Real men don't use visors. They squint into the sun as they exhale a huge Marlboro drag from their leathery faces, hardened from working in the mines for 40 years. None of this "Boo hoo hoo, the sun's in my eyes" garbage. What a bunch of wimps.

You know who didn't use a sun visor? Dennis Fucking Hopper. Never mind the fact that he was on a motorcycle and a sun visor wasn't an option. Even if he were driving a car he would've ripped the bastard off and flung it into a ditch in New Mexico. Just a hat and a tasty pair of shades is all Dennis needs. Très badass, Mr. Hopper.

I know these pussy flaps are nothing new, but there is entirely too much useless crap in our cars.* If you're driving, grow some balls and squint it out. Save your whimpering for the tampon department where you're undoubtedly going if you use a sun visor.


*More on that later. I missed last night's update because of internet troubles so I owe you one.