New Traffic Lights

Aren't they just the worst? They're the side affect of developing new plazas and whatnot. Or just making an intersection safer. But unless they're green, new traffic lights are a pain in the ass.

You see them up when the plaza's still being built. A dirty, incomplete intersection at first, and then one day you drive through and see the light stands, and then the traffic lights covered in heavy black cloth. You know the inevitable day will come when you'll have to slow down and stop for this bastard.

It's for this reason that I don't think very highly of new traffic lights. Because they're new! They just burst onto the scene. And suddenly they feel like they're running the show. Newborns aren't running companies from the moment they leave the womb. They have to earn responsibility and respect.

I feel this way about new traffic lights. Who are they to be telling me to stop? I don't have to listen to them. I've been around these parts a lot longer than they have. They should have to gain my respect before ordering me around. I want them to prove to me that they're capable of managing traffic flow. I don't just listen to any old schmo with flashing lights.

In any case though, I stop for them because they've got the law on their side. I think of it like the third-grade bully at school. The bully is just about ready to wail on some little kid and then the little kid's tenth-grade brother steps out and says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." with his arms folded across his chest. The bully knows he can't win against someone bigger than him so he just kind of slinks away thinking, "Man, if you didn't have your brother on your side, boy the things you'd have coming to you, let me tell you..."

And that's how it is. Traffic lights raspberry me from behind the law's back. I can't stop for new traffic lights without thinking, "Why I oughta...two weeks ago I wasn't stopping for you and believe me, you're lucky I'm stopping now."

I'm tired of all these lights getting respect for nothing.