Consensual Living

Holy jumpin' shitballs, I want to puke.

Consensual living has been a hot topic in Toronto today. I was not aware of it until today and a part of me wishes I could go back in time one day and warn myself, "For the love of God, man, do not absorb the media in any way tomorrow. I won't tell you why, but it's for your own good."

Now, if you don't know, consensual living is a really, really dumb parenting technique that focuses on negotiating with your child instead of setting rules. Here's an example from a Globe and Mail article from today:

Recently, the principles of consensual living have helped her cope with her son's hitting stage, she says.

When Kiernen strikes another child, Ms. Keller asks him what he's feeling and whether he'd like to express his anger or frustration in another way, such as using words or hitting a pillow.

She tells him it's not okay to hit others, but she and her husband, Josh, do not force Kiernen to say he's sorry. "If he's going to apologize, we want it to be authentic," Ms. Keller says.

Are you getting this? Jesus, grow up and learn some responsible parenting, you hippie. These fucking parents' judgements are so clouded over. For some reason they think the best approach to raising their precious little snowflakes* is to be their friend and their equal. Bullocks! You are a parent. It is your job to have authority over your children and set guidelines that must be followed in order for them to grow up with a sense of reality and to be decent people.

Wait until these kids actually grow up and have to face the real world. The world where rules exist and there are things that won't be negotiable. Where everything is not handed to them just because they want it. If you keep pampering them like this, they're going to have a hard time later in life. Discipline your kids. When they grow up and move out, then they can make the rules.

This is just so ridiculous they way parents get pansier with each generation. Back in the day if you did something wrong your father took off his belt and gave you a few good whoops. Back in the day parents spanked their children. Then we started becoming complete pussies and decided it was cruel and spanking went bye-bye. We started punishing kids with "time out." That oughta teach 'em. Make them stand in the corner for 10 minutes.

Wait a second. No...time out is a bad thing. The child isn't getting the attention they need and it might cause them to rebel. Let's not punish the child. Let's talk to the child about their feelings and get them to open up to us. That's surely the best and most healthy thing to do in our parent-child relationship. After all we're equals. Let's compromise without being too forceful. Being forceful is not good for the child's behaviour and could damage the bond we share.

Bull-shit, I say. When I acted out as a child, my father would pick me up and heave me head-first right through my second-story bedroom window. As I picked the shards of glass from my face I would say to myself, "Christ, I ain't doing that shit any more." And of course the old man would hear me and give me a few jabs to the teeth for swearing.

There was a bit of pain and a few broken windows in my childhood. But you know...I never committed the same crime twice.

*Thank you, Mike Stafford.