May I ask...who uses letter openers and if you do, what the hell are you thinking?
This has got to be one of the most useless things ever. I'm pretty sure 99% of the population would do just fine without one. Unless you've been hired to go through Miley Cyrus's fan mail, you have no business owning a letter opener.
What is wrong with the good ol' envelope finger fuck? It's traditional. It doesn't take any longer than using a letter opener. And most importantly, it doesn't make you look like a pampered douche.
Seriously, every time I use a letter opener (which is not often, mind you) I feel like I should be opening letters in a robe on the second-storey marble balcony of my secluded Colombian mansion as my wife hands me a mug of rich, dark, freshly-ground java. I feel like a prick. Like I'm above using my hand like the rest of the peons.
Letter openers are for rich assholes and the only acceptable way to be caught with one is if you're stabbing a guy who is actually using it for it's intended purpose.
That is all.
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