The Oscars

I've been complaining about award shows for years. So seeing as how tonight's Oscar night and I needed something to complain about today, this entry was kind of inevitable. Not that that makes any sense.

The thing is, I realized tonight that I complain about award shows from time to time, but I really haven't seen one in years. So I figured I'd take one for the team (me) and watch the Oscars just so I have at least a smidgen of credibility. I thought maybe the Oscars would give me some material and this would be a cute little entry.

It's 11 o'clock. I've been watching this crap since 7 because "surely the red carpet will nauseate me enough to inspire me." 4 hours and this crap is STILL ON. I know it usually runs a while and I watched a bunch of red carpet stuff before the actual event, but Jesus Christ. This is what I've been complaining about for so long? The Oscars haven't so much directly given me material as they have managed to bore me to fucking tears.

It's been like a movie that promises to make me laugh, make me cry. And it seems to be doing that for the audience. But it's all just sentimental garbage and piss poor jokes. I don't understand this. Did I nod off during all the good parts?

Why do people hype this every year? It's not even good. If you missed it and after reading this far, still want to know what went down, allow me to bring you up to speed:

"Ladies and gentlemen, Hugh Jackman. (applause)
"Thanks folks, I'm going to sing a shitty song even though I was told not to! You're welcome!"
(shitty song)
"Holy crap, that was fucking rad! Thanks everyone! Now please welcome, to introduce our first nominees, THESE people!"
"Blah blah blah, and the winner is, blah blah blah, thank you to the Academy, blah blah blah, oh my goodness, blah blah blah, Heath Ledger, Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire, Wall-E, blah blah blah.
"And now a musical bit featuring some of the worst songs ever!"
(musical bit featuring some of the worst songs ever)
"THE MUSICAL IS BACK!!!" (this alone fucking ruined my night)
"Blah blah blah, video clips, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, blah blah blah, Dark Knight, Heath Ledger, Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire, Wall-E, blah, blah, blah."

As I say, it's still on so that's only what I've got so far. Sorry to leave you with such a cliffhanger ending. As for the red carpet, that was just jam-packed so full of useless shit I'd like to go about forgetting all about it.

How do people endure this fucking snore-a-thon every year?