Some people like me will, on occasion, just be sitting around the house when an idea will pop into their head. Maybe this idea come when they're inconvenienced. Maybe this idea will be for...a new product? Maybe it'll be a really good idea like the printing press and they'll declare to themselves, "Brilliant!" with a finger pointed to the sky. Maybe it'll be a really stupid idea like Fundies and they'll declare to themselves, "Brilliant!" with a finger pointed to the sky. Well, unfortunately there are a lot of dumb people out there.
Today, two of the latest "dumbest products ever" I've just come upon, the Go Girl and Fundies. Let's start with the Go Girl.
The Go Girl is for women who want to pee like men. Looking at the picture above, I think you'll be able to figure out pretty quickly how it works. OK, I get that squatting is not easy or convenient. But how often are you going to be taking a piss, thinking to yourself, "Man, I wish I had a vag funnel right now"? The fact is that most girls probably do not need this product because most of the time they have access to a toilet. And when they don't, I mean, couldn't you suck it up one time and just squat instead of wasting $5?
And what if you're accidentally spotted using one or you spot someone else using one? That's going to be an awkward conversation the next time you see them. You either have to discuss transsexuality or piss funnels with them. Count me out.
The most disturbing piece of news I've read on this so far comes from the Go Girl's creator Sarah Dillon who "encouraged women to "have fun with" the product, which comes with a funnel attachment for mess-free relief." Go away. The last thing I want to read about is women having fun using their pissing devices. Have fun? What does that mean? Throw a Go Girl theme party? *shudder*
OK, now on to Fundies. Yes, folks, one of the most important inventions of our lives, underwear for two. Golly, I thought it would never arrive.
Maybe it's because I haven't tried it out and discovered how much fun it really is, but this just seems like a really fucking stupid idea. I get how it's supposed to be sexy, but it just looks like an assload of impracticality. You can't do much inside them. I can picture a couple trying to move in them and falling and "sexy" resulting in a broken hip. You could probably have awkward sex in them but what's the point? Who would choose awkward sex in Fundies over total-freedom, bare-ass banging action?
The slogan for Fundies is "Half the fun is getting in them, the other half's up to you." I suspect this isn't so much the Fundies people being "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" with us. This sounds like they invented the underwear and then it occurred to them, "So...great job and all.....but what the fuck are you supposed to do with them?"
The Fundies people are just taking a great idea and turning it into something dumb. What they should be doing is going after these fucking whales of human beings. I'm sure these people have a hard enough time trying to find underwear that fits. All you need to do is stop calling it underwear for two and just call it underwear for one.
Because heaven knows there are more fat people who need underwear out there than couples looking to make their sex life more awkward.
wow
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