Road Warriors Part 1

I think I'm going to give a special category to people we share the road with. I anticiapte that I will have more driving stories to share at some point so I present my first subsection, Road Warriors.

The first road warrior is the asshole that won't merge when you allow him to do so. I spend a lot of time on the road because my job is not exactly close to home. Therefore I spend a good deal of time on the highway. I can't tell you how pissed I get when I'm in the right hand lane and some guy shoots up beside me on an entrance ramp, just slightly ahead of where I am. Being a courteous driver, I slow down to let him in before he runs out of ramp and barrels into a concrete wall, exploding into a gigantic ball of flames. Which I saw one time and it was fucking awesome. It may have been a minivan full of children, I don't know, the fire truck was kind of in the way.

But anyway, I slow dow to let this guy in and he matches speed. Let's go! I'm letting you in! Step on the gas, for Pete's sake! I always feel awkward. I don't want this guy to think that I'm matching his speed so he can't get over. I'm being a legitimately nice guy here! I'm letting you in, but you're driving like an ass, don't hate me!

At this point I've either slowed to about 40kms below the posted speed limit before he inches in or cursed him and floored it to get ahead of him. In both cases I wonder how this moron got a license and scream at him to stay the fuck off the highway if he doesn't know how it works.

Road Warrior #2 is the guy that stops at the intersection with no stop sign. I was driving home after eating dinner out tonight and came to a 2-way stop. East-West had to stop at the interesction. North-South did not. I was travelling East-West and came to the stop....right as North-South dickweed came to the intersection...and STOPPED.

As it was his right of way, I continued to wait there. This genius actually stopped where there was no stop sign and flashed his lights to let me through, all while holding up another vehicle.

Now that I think of it, I really should have taken George Carlin's advice. I should have stopped dead at the intersection. When he's waited there for several seconds and realized that I'm not going to move, he'd proceed. And right when he's in the middle of the road, BRRRRRRUUUMMMM, I floor it and crash into him.

"You told me to go."