Hannah Montana

I was doing some research for another topic that quite honestly would have led to a very weak update. I've been fucking busy and flat out brain-drained for the past couple of days and it was getting down to the zero hour for tonight. Thankfully good ol' Hannah Montana swooped in and saved the day with her mediocrity.

See, I was trying to find Nickelback's Rock Star video and saw that Montana also has a song called Rock Star. And when a Disney artist sings about rock stars, red flags go up for me. I listened to it, and as I suspected, both Nickelback and Hannah Montana are in dangerous territory.

Nickelback can be forgiven because their whole song is about wanting to be a rock star. To me it's the first sensible thing they've done in their careers. I have issues with their awful fucking music and forced badboy image, but damn it, I respect them for being totally honest and admitting that they don't deserve to be seated at the "rock stars' table".

Hannah? She's even less of a rock star than the blokes in Nickelback and she's proclaiming that she is indeed, without question, a rock star! No, no, and no! 16-year old Disney-approved artists don't get to be rock stars unfortunately. Check in later when you're a little less clean-cut and have kicked a 7-year heroin habit that nearly killed you on several occasions. Get back to me when you can make me actually believe you're passionate about what you do instead of giving a me a bullshit fake wink and smile as you rattle off shitty lyrics about high school.

This is why I respect the hell out of Amy Winehouse even though everyone else apparently hates her. She's got a great voice and is dangerously close to kicking the bucket because of drugs. Voila. Winehouse, to me, is one of the few artists today keeping the spirit alive (the spirit being Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll). If she died tomorrow I wouldn't be one of those morons saying things like, "Gosh, that's so sad. Why'd a nice girl like that have to lose it all because of drugs?" I'd say, "Damn straight, Winehouse, you worked hard, you played hard, and you stuck it to the Man. I couldn't ask for anything more. Enjoy the flight to hell (because all the best bands are affiliated with Satan, of course)."

Anyway, I'm getting bored with this and I'm not telling you anything that Bill Hicks hasn't already said. Point is, Disney stars do not equal rock stars. Quite the opposite.

Screw it, I'll just post this, which tells it 1000X better than I have and promise you something much better for tomorrow.