Hungry Hungry Hippos

This game easily deserves the title of being both the best and the worst game ever made. I defy you to find one parent on the entire planet who truly thinks Hungry Hungry Hippos is a good idea for a game. I highly doubt anyone's ever said, "Daddy's got a splitting headache. You kids get out the Hungry Hungry Hippos and let him rest."

It has to be hands-down the noisiest game ever invented. You can't play it quietly. It's impossible. Man, you talk about great game soundtracks, from start to finish the game is nothing but CLACK-CLACK-CLACK-CLACK-CLACK-CLACK-CLACK-CLACK-CLACK! That and children giggling loudly (and maybe even the odd internet ranter).

It's like the creators deliberately set out to piss off as many parents as they could. "Ve're going to create a monster today, people. Ve need to come up vis a children's game so noisy and annoying zat every parent vill vish for early death....zat is until ve create a line of furry toy robots zat von't shut up! Zen zee parents vill BEG for zee Hippos! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Besides being incredibly loud, Hungry Hungry Hippos takes absolutely no skill whatsoever to play and win. You just smack a hippo's ass repeatedly and hope for the best. You can't really be good at it. It's all luck. Really, the only way you can be at a disadvantage is if you have no limbs.

My last gripe with Hungry Hungry Hippos is the marbles. For one, they always seem to slowly disappear until you realize that the reason that none your games have lasted longer than 3 seconds is because you're only playing with 2 marbles. Those bastards are hard to replace too. You can't use regular glass marbles because they're too big. I mean, come on, it's a hippo for Christ's sake. One of the largest mouths in the animal kingdom. You should be able to fit a Hyundai in there. But these pansies can't even swallow a marble.

And even after all that, still, Hungry Hungry Hippos: Best Fucking Game Ever.