People Who Sit in "Drive-Thru Alley"

You're probably asking yourself what the title means. Well, not to worry, I'm here to explain of course.

The "drive-thru alley" sitter is the person in the restaurant who sits at the table or booth right next to the window facing the drive-thru line. So when you're waiting in your car in the line you're like 5 feet away from this person and you can see their table and everything on it. If there wasn't a plate of glass separating you from this person they'd pretty much be able to feed you as you sit waiting to order.

These people make me nervous because I always end up looking in at their table and for a few moments we share that nervous eye contact. You know what I mean. You're looking at someone and they catch you looking at them so you quickly look away. But then you think, "Are they still looking at me?" So you look back and they are. And then they get nervous and do the same thing. You don't want them to think you're staring at them, you just want to know if they're staring at you! It's another of those awkward human moments.

So there's that. But I also feel like I'm invading their privacy even though they're the ones that chose to sit right by the window. I pull up in the line and end up next to them and I feel like I'm non-verbally saying to them, "Hey, folks! Don't mind if I just scoot in here and watch you eat, do you? Just checking in to see how everything's going at your table." I feel like an uninvited guest who doesn't even want to be an uninvited guest. I just kind of wandered into the trap.

The worst is when there's more than one person at the table. I imagine them talking about me. "Don't look now but there's a weird fucking guy with long hair peering over your shoulder in the drive-thru line. He keeps looking at me nervously. What's his problem? He's probably on drugs or something. I think I'm really creeping him out somehow. This is fun, let's always sit here!"

At this point I've become so fixated on the people just inside the window that I haven't noticed that the line has long since moved up and the guy behind me is now blaring his horn and hollering at me from his window. His honking is justified but I think calling me a "fucking prick" was a bit much. It's weird, but for me, holding the drive-thru line up is much less awkward than staring at the "drive-thru alley" sitters...