Road Warriors Part 2

It's been a while since the last Road Warriors post so it's time for Part 2.

People With a Lot of Stuffed Animals in Their Rear Window

It's a car, not your child's playpen. And if you don't even have children....what the hell is wrong with you?

And why does it always seem to be Winnie the Pooh characters? Why do so many people feel the need to have a bunch of Tigger and Piglet toys in their car? Not to mention the Pooh Bear window shades.

So you have a kid, good for you. So do a ton of other people. You don't need to flaunt it. You're not a super-special mommy and your toys aren't cute. Get that crap out of your window.

One of these days your mother will be in critical condition in an ambulance that is trying to get around your slow ass. She will die before the ambulance reaches the hospital and if Dora the Explorer hadn't been grinning at you in the rearview, you might have pulled over to let the ambulance pass and you mother would still be alive. Your stupid animals won't be so cute then.

Overly Friendly Courtesy Waves

In case the title was a little confusing, this is when you let someone merge and they give you the courtesy wave. But they take it too far and literally wave at you. They don't just give the open-handed, five-fingers-up-in-the-air, rear window signal. They give you the wave where they actually shake their hand back and forth.

Christ, I'm just letting you onto the highway, I'm not trying to make friends with you. Stop waving at me like a crazy person. There's too much god damned friendliness in today's world. Sometimes I wish someone would just up and start a war or something.

I appreciate the courtesy wave, don't get me wrong, but when I see someone frantically waving at me through their rear window I imagine the person at the wheel is dangerously happy. I always expect to pass them and look over and see a guy grinning maniacally and drooling. And perhaps he has large, random patches of hair shaved out of his head. When I get an overly friendly courtesy wave I think that maybe it's best I don't share the road with this lunatic for too long.

The worst part is that a lot of the time these raving wavers are mommies with a bunch of crap in their back window.