Beggin' Strips Commercials

Ladies and gentlemen, this dog does not need bacon. He obviously needs rehab. Clearly we should not be feeding our pets this much cocaine. If Rover wants to have a little toot at a party, so be it, but I get the feeling he's sniffing up several eightballs a day.

So the dog gets all jacked up and tears through the house and the family is completely indifferent to the havoc he wreaks. If my dog jumped on my nads while I was sleeping he'd have a one-way ticket to the farm coming his way. Even his obnoxious inner monologue is high. It sounds like Gilbert Gottfried in a speed-talking competition and that's something I could do without.

And then we've got the baby-talking mom with the big smile on her face. Her mushy-cushy atttude towards the dog's spazzy behaviour just annoys me. Instead of pampering him and giving him a fix she should be telling him to calm the fuck down and then phoning an obedience school. The dog has problems.

Another thing that irritates me: the dog jummps onto the stove in both commercials? How irresponsible of the family. What if the stove had been turned on and in Rover's coke-fuelled craze, he scorched his ass? Well...I guess that would be learning the hard way not to act like a jackass in the house.

And another thing: the most pressing issue in this perky family's world is that bacon's popular? It was on the news so it must be true. I actually kind of want to live in that family's world. Apparently they're not fighting a war or freaking out over swine flu. Awesome!

So what have we learned? Dogs and blow don't mix.