Lil Jon

This is actually kind of a touchy subject for me because I was taught that one of the worst things you could do is make fun of mentally challenged people. I have to say, though, that Lil Jon completely astounds me.

First I'd like to share a piece of information about Lil Jon that may surprise you, as it has surprised me after recently learning it. Folks, Lil Jon is...thirty eight years old. I'll repeat. THIRTY EIGHT YEARS OLD!

We have serious problems with society here, guys. On the one hand we have 12 year old girls dressing like prostitutes. On the other we have Lil Jon and guys in emo bands acting like 14 year olds. What the hell is going on?! I'm going to give these people a piece of advice that my dad told me numerous times as a young'un: ACT YOUR AGE.

And really, hasn't anyone besides me had the notion that we could probably save the economy if Lil Jon just turned in all his bling? I'm starting to think Fort Knox is just a big sham. Lil Jon's got all the country's gold and you know it. It's just a shame he has to use it all to make dumbass impractical necklaces with huge absurd phrases on them. And goblets? Who the hell needs a goblet?

Other than that, all he does is grin maniacally and scream 1-3 word phrases. My uncle Bert did the same thing and we had to put him under 24 hour watch. People like that are unpredictable and potentially dangerous. This is not "Fuck da po-lice!" we're talking about here. It's screaming words that have no context whatsoever. "WHAT?!"

If this guy weren't famous, I'm quite certain he'd be the scraggly-haired guy pushing a shopping cart down the sidewalk laughing to himself for no reason. And I'd be the guy trying to avoid his gaze.