Whoa, whoa, hold on. Don't get all up in arms yet. Let me clear something up. I don't hate Cookie Crisp. I hate the fact that I'm 23 years old and not once in my life have I tasted what I would imagine is probably the absolute greatest fucking cereal of all time.
I mean, come on. Fucking cookies! For breakfast! How can that not be every kid's dream? The first time I saw a commercial for Cookie Crisp as a child my head almost exploded. I remember it well. I was watching Ninja Turtles and during a break a cartoon cop and robber came onto the screen. There were tiny cookies. There was milk. So far so good. And then..."part of this complete breakfast!"
I shouted, "HOLY SHIT!!!" at the top of my lungs and then quickly realized what I had done. My father came into the room and promptly defenestrated me for cursing. I'd like to say it was totally worth it, but it really wasn't since I still haven't had Cookie Crisp.
Not only would my parents probably never in a million years have bought it for me, to this day I have not seen one box of it on any shelf of any store I've ever been in. I'm actually starting to think it doesn't even exist and General Mills is just fucking with kids and having a good belly laugh over the whole thing. If there is anyone reading this who has actually obtained this elusive cereal and tasted it's sweet, sweet cookie goodness, please feel free to tell me all about it and be as detailed as possible!
Holy crap, I want this cereal so badly. So, so badly.
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