G20 Special: Police State

If you've read my past rants about anti-government and personal freedoms, you may expect me to get on here and call the police a bunch of fascists and complain about the "fucking police state" we call Canada.

You would be wrong. In fact, I'm getting pretty tired of all these G20 protesters still whining and crying "Police State!" several days after the summit has ended.

Let me make this perfectly clear: We do not live in a police state in Canada. If you had ever actually been to a true police state, I think you would appreciate your Canadian freedoms a whole buttload more. However, this also does not mean that I will be spewing a bunch of garbage about Canada being the greatest country on earth with absolute freedom. That "national pride" shit that politicians are always cramming down our throats irks me just as much and, in my opinion, is arguably more damaging than police state accusations. That's a different rant though.

If you nay-sayers would open your eyes for two seconds (or "wake up", as you like to call it) perhaps you'd see the irony in yelling "Police State!" all over the mainstream AND alternative news, Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Blogger, etc. with no consequences. If you actually lived in a police state, you would not have the right to do that and you'd likely be locked up. Many people in police states have no real grasp of how large government dissidence is because speech is so heavily censored.

Alright, I've gotten that out of the way, so I WILL give you this: I see a lot of evidence of a rising police state. I think if we continue down the road we're travelling on, we WILL have a police state. There were lots of examples of police overstepping their grounds just last weekend. Yes, I DO think it's important to protest this and stop it in its tracks before it runs rampant.

Police State: getting there? Absolutely. Living in one? Fuck no. So quit'cher belly-achin'!

G20 Special: Violent Protesters

So the G20 summit has officially reached Toronto's downtown core and with it comes comes a tribe of highly employable, jabbering dickweeds. No, it's not the politicians I'm talking about. I mean Dick and Jane Windowpopper.

I'm all for protesting and speaking out for what you believe in. When I see people damaging property and basically causing shit, though, I have to wonder what these idiots are thinking. They appear to be trying to communicate with us. Perhaps their hemmorrhoids have flared up.

I really don't understand the logic in smashing windows.

"Now that a massive protest is occurring, I now have an excuse to engage in juvenile behaviour and most likely get away scot-free! I shall hurl a newspaper box through a Starbucks window. That will tell the world that as an individual I am opposed to any one of the following: Obama, Harper, police, capitalism, Israel, Palestine, 9/11, deodorant, frappuccinos, or intact glass panes. Bitchin'!"

Let's think about this now. If you're opposed to the summit, why are you destroying the front of a building that does not contain the people meeting? If you're opposed to the store or corporations or something like that, you're not doing anything by breaking a couple of windows. Business will go on after you've left. All you've succeeded in doing is piss off a storeowner and create a job for a window installer. Finally, if you're breaking the windows just for the sake of breaking shit, well, you're just an asswipe.

And what's all this I'm hearing about demonstrators being avoidant of the media? Now I'm to understand that you want to draw more attention to your message but you don't actually want to tell anyone what your message is? Alright...

Shit's getting real here and you're not helping.

Eco-Crime and the Environmental Police

Are you fucking serious?! I saw this clip and had to double check to make sure I wasn't watching another video from the Onion. Eco-crime? Environmental police? Get the fuck out of here. What a joke.

This shit hasn't hit Canada yet...at least as far as I know, but just wait. I remember confiding in a friend in the months following Inconvenient Truth's release and nobody could shut the hell up about going green. I said to him, "I don't know why and I have nothing that suggests it will, but I get the feeling that this "green movement" will be used to fuck people over." And wouldn't you know it, here we are.

It seems like god damn everything is somehow used as an excuse to fuck everyone over. Now I'm not going to speculate on whether or not 9/11 was an inside job. That's not what I'm here to do tonight. But no matter what you believe about the 9/11 attacks, you simply can't deny that they have been used to fuck over hard-working Americans. Rights are being yanked away and it's all in the name of counter-terrorism. Yeah. OK.

Anyway, back to the environment. Why do we need police so heavily involved in our lives? And why are these morons carrying guns and handcuffs? In case someone has the balls to tell them to fuck off and rip up their silly little eco-ticket? It wasn't enough to get everyone to watch some asshole's global warming video and leave it to them to make "the right choice"? Now they're basically demanding that we save the planet at gunpoint?

I read someone's comment on this clip and it was bloody brilliant. They suggested that Obama should have to pay a "Bullshit Tax" to American citizens every time he says or does something that's complete bullshit. They'd all be millionaires by year's end. Get the government and police out of everyone's lives and stop fucking us over with senseless cash-grabs like this.

To hell with this 5 cents for a plastic bag shit too. I don't need anyone gradually forcing me to save the planet. I'll do it when I'm good and god damned ready.

Stephen Harper

FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

I knew a Stephen Harper post was inevitable at some point and here we are. I'd like to first say that I hate this fucking puppet cocksucker asshole, but never have I felt the degree of hatred for him that I'm feeling right now. Mr. Harper, you're the George Bush of Canada and I want you out of office immediately. You're ruining this country as you bumble around with your stupid fucking smile and your stupid fucking voice and your stupid fucking hair. It would not surprise me to learn that after the above picture was taken you promptly devoured the cat. You are evil scum and fuck you.

I had to get that out of my system. Now I can tell you why I've suddenly exploded with "fucks" directed towards our shitty prime minister. Here's why: Ottawa's plan to fingerprint those not yet charged under fire.

I've been following this type of thing and it's happening in the States. Finally it's come to Canada and I'm fucking pissed. I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of governments slowly taking away citizens' freedoms. We're supposed to be a fucking free country. This is complete horseshit.

I'm sick of freedoms being taken away in the name of security or efficiency. I'm sick of freedoms being taken away and the government telling us it's for our benefit. Lies, lies, lies. I know the government doesn't give two shits about me or anyone else in this country. They care about power and slowly they're working their way up to absolute power. The government doesn't have our best interests in mind. They'd be just as happy, scratch that, happier to see us all work 24 hours a day, completely under their thumb. They'd love it if we had no way of overthrowing bad, shitty governments like this one.

Why should I be treated like a suspect or a criminal when I've done nothing wrong? This is not innocent until proven guilty, this is guilty until proven innocent. Why should the police and the government have my fingerprints and picture if I haven't committed a crime? This is not for efficiency. This is another fuck up the ass that brings the government one step closer towards complete control.

It's the frog in boiling water analogy yet again. Slowly take away peoples' rights and they won't even notice. Until we all wake up one morning and realize we're living in a complete fucking police state. Screw travelling to the States too. I'm not getting a passport or one of these enhanced driver's licenses either. It's another fuck up the ass.

Stephen Harper's a puppet, Bush was a puppet, and I know a lot of people won't like it, but Obama's a puppet.

And while we're here, fuck the Patriot Act too.

People Who Drive White Crown Victorias

I say we enforce either of the following:

1) Start making vehicles that are exclusive to police departments.
2) If people want to drive white Crown Vics, make vehicle decals mandatory.

I'm really getting sick and tired of scrambling to put down my bong and nachos just because some grandpa wants to drive a police car. What, pray tell, is wrong with a nice Buick? Or why not drive a stunning green Crown Victoria? No, you have to come speeding past me in your white car of trickery and leave me choking on pot smoke and corn snacks. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I think deep down anyone who drives a white Crown Victoria and is not a police officer is an asshole. How can you go through the process of buying this car and not once think that you're going to make a bunch of people nervous every day? You have know that you're often going to get stuck behind people driving the speed limit because you look like an unmarked car in the rearview. Weapons smugglers are needlessly sweating bullets and maybe even shitting their pants because of you, you sick bastards!

Maybe decals aren't enough. Just to be safe we should put a giant bobbing smiley face on the roof of every white Crown Vic just so people know for sure there's just a normal asshole driving the car, not one with a badge.

Just a small idea of mine to help us all rest a little easier as we break the law.