Urinal Code

I assume the majority of male readers will hate me for saying this, but Urinal Code is fucking dumb. I find it terribly ironic that men, in an effort to maintain their status as a man's man and avoid being thought of homosexual, will fuss over petty, insignificant details, something normally associated with...their FEMALE counterparts!

The video left out two parts to urinal code that I have witnessed:

1)If you can't avoid standing beside another man at a urinal, use a stall.
2)If you can't avoid standing beside another man at a urinal OR use a stall, wait until you can occupy a urinal that is not beside one in use.

The bathroom in the bar that I go to every Friday has two urinals and one stall so I've seen Urinal Code in effect quite routinely. I've been in the situation where I'm taking a piss and someone walks in and despite there being a free urinal, they go for the stall.

My view of Urinal Code is this: I have to piss, there's a toilet, it's free, and damn it, I'm using it. I really couldn't give a fuck about another man's deep-seated homophobia. Pissing is a normal bodily function and guess what? You're in a bathroom, genius. Pissing beside others is expected and it doesn't make you gay. Grow up and grow a pair. I don't have time to dick around at the back of the washroom playing number games in my head while my bladder bursts.

That said, I don't deliberately break Urinal Code. I follow it to some degree, just not if it inconveniences me. For example, if there are 5 urinals and only 1 is taken, I don't march up and drop trou right next to him. We all need personal space. Likewise, I don't look around the room or at anything besides the wall in front of me and I don't speak unless spoken to. I never initiate urinal conversation, but if someone strikes up, I have no problem with brief small talk. I'm not one of those guys that gets weirded out by talking in the bathroom and I have to say I don't understand why some guys do.

Urinal Code, as far as I'm concerned, is just a bunch of guys trying to act tough, but actually coming across as very wimpy and insecure in the process. We're all human beings here. Can't we all just take a piss without fretting over absurd rules?

Proposition 8 and This Whole Pointless Bullshit Gay Marriage Debate

I'm not going to lie. I was piss drunk last night and I didn't think to post nor did I care to post. That's for anyone who noticed and cared. But I've got 2 updates today so fear not!

Well....this bullshit is back in the news. This whole gay marriage in Cali debate. Why, you ask? Good question and I'll tell you the answer: Because some people are, let's face it, pretty god damned stupid and unenlightened.

America likes to think it's a smart nation. I'm not bashing my neighbour here. There are many Americans that are fucking brilliant as far as I'm concerned. But think of it this way: they can safely remove tumors from a person's body and they put a man on the moon, yet they're arguing over whether or not two people should be allowed to marry? Doesn't that seem completely backwards?

I'm a guy that would like to see a change in marijuana laws (legalize, if you have to ask). As far as I'm concerned, gay marriage is even less of an issue than marijuana. I can understand why people would be hesitant to legalize weed. They believe what the government tells them and think it's dangerous or harmful or a gateway drug. But gay marriage? I see that as being unquestionably OK. Gay marriage, just like marijuana, does not give you lung cancer, it does not make you unmotivated, and it most certainly does not lead to harder gays, if you'll pardon my little pun.

Gay marriage does not affect anyone but the two people who are married and even then it's barely even noticeable. Personally I think marriage is a pointless, meaningless ritual, but I acknowledge that most people don't feel this way. So if they want to get married, let them get married.

Can anyone link me to any clips where an anti-gay marriage supporter is asked how gay marriage affects them personally? I've never heard that asked and I'd love to hear how they respond. I mean, complain until you're blue in the face like I do, but don't actually step in and make laws telling other people how to live their lives.

One day I hope to live in a world where drugs are legal, gay marriage is legal, there is no bullshit carbon tax, everyone's happy, and the government stops meddling into peoples' fucking lives. But until then we're going to have to listen to these "anti-assholes" and wait for the government to declare war. The War on Gays. It's truly going to be sad if gays need their own Rosa Parks or MLK to get the rights they deserve. When are these fucking idiots going to wake up?

Anti-Gay Marriage People

Seriously, what the fuck?! Are we living in the Dark Ages here? And by "we" I mean most of the States...which I'm not even affiliated with. But bear with me. What the fuck, man, what the fuck?

How can I say this clearly? How about...put down your voodoo book, take a look out the window, and get with the fucking times. Which coming from me, is pretty hypocritical. Again, bear with me.

I don't even understand why this is an issue to be perfectly frank. You don't want two people of the same sex to marry because your religion said it's wrong? Gays are going to hell?

Can I ask you an honest question? Yes? Okay:
HOW. DOES. THIS. FUCKING. AFFECT. YOU. IN. ANY. WAY?

If gays are going to hell (which they're not, you morons), fuck 'em. Does that somehow mean that when you supposedly get to heaven (for being a complete asshole to anyone who is slightly different from you, mind you), your eternal bliss will be hindered in some way? I honestly don't get these religious people who feel the need to stomp on anything that their "God" supposedly doesn't want. Look, if you're religious, go ahead and be religious. I don't agree with you, but I'm not stopping you. But when you try to impose your "God" on the entire world, that's when I get seriously pissed off.

Here's an idea: if you don't like gay marriage...DON'T FUCKING MARRY SOMEONE WHO'S THE SAME GENDER AS YOU! It's almost too simple! If you haven't noticed, there are a shitload of people on this earth who don't believe in your god. I sure as hell don't believe in this god that apparently loves everyone...oh, except for fags. Can I ask you something else? Did you just make this shit up, or...?

I know some gay people. Funny, none of them seem to emit that "pure evil" vibe. Could it be...because they're not? Could it be that they're (gasp) normal fucking human beings who are simply attracted to members of the same sex? No, that can't be it. They're obviously ill.

How do these anti-gay people sleep at night? On top of "I Know What's Best For Everyone" sheets, covered by a Fred Phelps blanket? All I'm trying to say is, concern yourself with your own life and stop imposing on other peoples' lives. Unless it's harming you or your property, just let it go. Complain all you want, but don't flat out ban gay marriage just because you don't believe in it. Many people do. You're not going to hell just because some lesbians got married so why do you care so much?

Let me say it again: complain all you want if you don't like something, but don't deny other people their freedoms. You don't see me going to the Supreme Court saying, "Look, we've simply got to ban Smart Cars, raisins, and Tim Geithner."

I write a shitty rant about it online and move on with my life. Let gay people marry each other. And grow up. You're acting like a complete tool. I have no witty out line for this one.