Well, it's been a little while since I've rolled through these parts so I'm going on a tirade tonight. And the subject? Basically anything and everything to do with these soft, whining, bubble-world, wimps who are multipying daily, pissing and moaning about stupid shit*, and more or less sucking the remaining joy out of the lives of people like me who like to have a little fun.
So let's begin.
MADD
And FADD, which I haven't actually looked up, but I can only assume stands for Fascists Against Drunk Driving, based on the behaviour of the other group.
Will you people give it a fucking rest already? Aren't you tea-total-tuckered out yet?
How many more lives do you have to ruin with your Draconian laws and ridiculous alcohol limits? I bit my tongue and didn't say anything when Ontario lowered the "busted" limit from .08 to .05. It was hard, but I did it. Mainly because I've been .08 and .08 is not anywhere near drunk, folks. The fact that they wanted to lower it more and then did is just dumb.
And people won't stand up and argue with this because they're afraid to be labelled as some heartless asshole who's in favour of drunk driving. You might be reading this thinking that's what I am. I'm not. I think drunk driving is risky behaviour, selfish, and I don't encourage or do it at all.
But you have to be real. There's a difference between driving completely shithoused and driving a little loose. A few beers over the course of an evening is not going to make you some terror on the highway. But right now some poor, nearly-sober guy's life is being ruined so some fat bitch can sit in an office and gab about how she's making the streets safer and the world better.
And don't give me that crap about "with every sip your reaction time is slower." Who cares? 99% of the time you spend on the road you're not engaging in split-second reactionary moves anyway. And if you are and you've had a couple...hey, there's still a chance you'll be quick enough. But if not, facts are facts, accidents happen, and you should have learned by this stage that life is full of them. Don't go punishing everyone because of one unfortunate moron.
So get off your tea-totalling high horse and shut the fuck up already.
Miss Perfect Lungs
While we're on vices, I was going to rip on these "designated-smoking-area-certain-distance-from-building-entrances" crybabies who are worried about getting a little breath of secondary smoke here and there, yet are living in a smoggy metropolis shithole...but that's old news here.
Grow a pair.
Purell, Lysol Wipes, and Other Secret Weapons of the Germophobe
I am sick and tired of these Fucking. Purell. People. I've held my tongue for long enough on this one too, but my office has gone off the tracks again. Ever since swine flu came tearing through, we've had a number of permanent Purell dispensers installed all over the building. I was able to calmly ignore them until recently when somebody here crossed the line and decided it would be a brilliant idea to put a second dispenser in a bathroom that's slightly bigger than a closet.
We now have one Purell dispenser right next to the sink and a new one right next to the toilet. Words escape me. And the people who are constantly rubbing this stuff all over their hands are the one's telling me I'm paranoid because I question my government.
And why is everyone always wiping everything down with these disinfectant cloths? These cloths claim to kill 99% of germs yet they never seem to wipe out the most dangerous germ of all: the one holding the damn cloth.
Why are co-workers telling me "I've got a bit of a cold. You might want to wipe the area off" and then handing me a cannister of wipes? Fuck that. Give me your cold germs. I won't die. And my immune system will be stonger as a result. These people think they're staying healthy by wiping everything off and rubbing alcohol all over themselves. We'll see who's healthy when some wimpy little virus fucking destroys you because your immune system's retired and gone to Florida on account of the "lack of work to be done around the office".
Me, on the other hand, I'll be the one who gets cancer 27 times and doesn't miss a day of work because I've spent my life NOT being a pussy who lives in a completely sterile environment, gulping down medication cocktails every time I get the sniffles.
I'll have built up an immune system so strong it would give Superman a hard-on and have the CIA visiting me, hoping to exploit it for international warfare purposes. I'll be going places. Meanwhile, half my office is walking around with 10-gallon jugs of pink disinfectant belted on to their sides, picking up file folders with barbecue tongs.
Parents Who Won't Discipline Their Little Hell-Raisers
I was either brought up during the last glimmer of sensible parenting in this country or my parents were old fashioned. And I'm pretty sure they were just old fashioned. My dad especially.
I was spanked as a kid. And yeah, it fucking hurt. Now, as a man in his mid-twenties, I'm damn glad my parents did it. I learned right from wrong pretty damn quick when my dad grabbed my arm and raised his hand, aiming for a good, solid strike. It was good for me. Kept me in line. Hell, my old man went easy on me. He used his hand. He could have been REALLY old fashioned and given me the old leather belt. Either way, a spanking meant I did something pretty bad and a red ass taught me never to do it again.
Fast forward to today when you can't even wag a finger at your kid without some dipshit calling Child Protection Services. Everyone's bought into this soft "discipline" like time out. Or sitting down and writing your problems on a paper to relieve the stress. Bullshit!
Fuck these "experts" who have turned each child into a special, fragile, little gem. Because of these idiot talking heads on garbage shows like Dr. Phil and The View and Oprah, and all these other daytime shows for brain-dead white trash we now have a population of parents walking around with this mindset:
(from Yahoo! Answers, the hopeless toilet bowl of the internet)
Question: Do you spank your kids in public or have you been spanked in public?
Voted best answer: When I was a child I remember my Mom spanking us in public, yelling at us in public, or griping at us for doing something wrong in front of other people, but not so much our Dad. He would usually not have to do much but raise his voice a little to scare the living daylights out of us, and I only remember him starting to spank me 1 time, in all my life, when I was about 6 years old, maybe! I ran outside yelling that my tummy was "killing me" and he said, "well, you better be good then, so I won't have to spank you, and that was the end of it"!!
But I never spanked or disicplined my own child in public places-- I remembered how humiliated I always felt with everyone looking at me when my Mom was yelling at me--I never wanted my son to go through that-- I always waited until we were alone to talk to him, or if necessary, I would remove him from an activity and take him aside to talk to him and leave with him to discipline him if needed, then allow him time to calm down before bringing him back!!
I feel it damages a young childs self-esteem to disicpline them in public and/or in front of their peers!!
This, folks, is a prime example of someone who just doesn't get it. You never wanted to put your son through that?! Putting your son through that would teach him pretty quickly that acting like a little shit in public = massive humiliation. Therefore, don't act like a little shit in public. Or in private for that matter.
You feel it damages a child's self-esteem, yada, yada, yada?! Good. Let's have your punk kid become one of those 12-year-old little bastards that think so highly of themselves and goes around telling every adult stranger they meet to go fuck themselves. That's exactly what the world needs more of. More pre-teen gangstas and hos who think they're entitled to the world.
Any discipline that's not actual discipline automatically traumatizes a child and damages them for life in the minds of these "parents". Well, hey, the way I see it, you could give your kid a couple of good smacks to straighten them out quickly or you could resort to "time out" and have your kid grow up to be a self-centred asshole who doesn't understand the word "No", treat people like shit, think they deserve everything, and, well, become like every rich, white politician this country has to offer.
And I'm not even necessarily saying "hit your kids", but when your little terror is running around the grocery store punching everyone in the balls, fucking do something!
Fuck these brats and their dipshit parents.
"The Customer is Always Right" and Other Business Strategies That Turn Customers Into Pricks
Sigh. Let's hear it for the almighty dollar once again.
Here's the basic premise: Some idiot business owner values profit more than his dignity so he stops at nothing to pamper a bunch of demanding asses to no end in order to please them and drive up business.
Now, I don't have a problem with helping people out. Quite the opposite. Despite my tone and style on here, I'm actually a very pleasant and helpful guy. But, as always, some people just take it too fucking far.
This customer service mindset of all these business owners has created a society of people who think they're kings and queens every time they shop for something. The box has a dent in it so they demand a discount. Or coupons. Or a freebie. The meal didn't satisfy them so they they want it on the house. GO FUCK YOURSELVES.
These businesses comply because they're worried about damaging their reputation and losing sales so they basically suck every irate customer's cock. What ever happened to guys like the Soup Nazi? Don't like it? Get the fuck out! Guys with dignity and pride in their business who wouldn't let people walk all over them. Everyone these days is running around in a Best Buy uniform apologizing to everyone else.
When the video store is out of the movie I'm looking for, I don't demand discounts, free rentals, coupons, or declare that I'm never coming back. The movies are gone, tough beans, better luck next time. What is so hard to grasp about that? Life isn't always fair. Suck it up and stop being such an arrogant, demanding shit.
*I can see the irony of using this phrase, but when I do it, it matters and I'm always right. So blow me.
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