Me

You fucking moron! Why the fuck did you think it was a good idea to drink somewhere between 19 and 23 beers?! I mean, I know that's totally like the most you've ever drank in your life by far and whatnot, but what the fuck?!

Why the fuck would you lie down on the bedroom floor "to rest for a sec" knowing full well you wouldn't be coming back up? Remember how you woke up in bed this morning with the radio still on thinking "What happened...?" Remember how you spent 10 minutes blindly searching your room for your lost glasses? That means you're a fucking idiot and you overdid it. Fuck you!

Here's a tip: when you puke, you're done. That doesn't mean your body is freeing up space for 7 more beers.

Sure, it was your night off work and all that, but for God's sake, use a little discretion, man! You're better than that.


*Sorry, folks. Consider this last night's update. More to come later on today!*

I'm On Strike!

I've decided to go on strike because apparently everyone else in this city is doing the same. I don't have a boss that tells me what to put on my site, but if I did, I imagine he'd tell me write about Jon and Kate, which I won't do because I honestly don't give a fuck about them or anyone who, for some incredibly retarded reason, treats them and their family as news. So for that made up reason, I'm going on strike.

Well, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Sorry, but I'm not going on strike. I just needed an intro for my rant about these morons lining up at the LCBO with obscene amounts of booze like this "maybe/maybe not" strike is Y2K Jr.

I'll give exception to the people who run bars and pubs and whatnot who rely on the LCBO to provide them with the liquor they serve. But methinks that the LCBO is not jam packed solely with bar owners this evening. There are 3 other groups of people stocking up tonight: alcoholics, dumbass wine aficionados, and plain old empty-headed dickweeds.

Someone please explain this behaviour to me. Why is there this intense need to stock up on liquor? The Beer Store's still going to be open. Is there something wrong with popping a beer if the liquor store strikes?

Silly me...of course there is. To these ignoramuses at least. The alcoholics need hard liquor because it gets them drunk quickly and efficiently. The wine aficionados need wine because they're better than me and wouldn't be caught drinking beer, nectar of the peons. And the plain old empty-headed dickweeds need liquor for their faggoty little daiquiris and other pansy mixed drinks. I just can't respect anyone who enjoys drinking a Shirley Temple with half a shot of vodka in it.

I truly would enjoy it if they announced no strike. Just to witness these people's heads drop as they curse, "....shit. Just...(sigh)...shit."

But at least the ones in Toronto would be able to get mashed as they watch their garbage bag total slowly creep upwards to match their liquor bottle total. You win some, you lose some.